"Summer of love?!? What utter hippy bullshit!"
Dave
was on a rant. We had gone down to the liquor store, and it took what seemed
like an eternity just to pick up a 12 pack of Anchor Steam. It was 1989, the anniversary the
"Summer Of Love" and there was a party taking up a good portion of
Golden Gate Park and much of the Haight.
And, since we lived literally on Ashbury Street. Just a few houses up from
Haight, and a few down from the legendary "dead" house, it was a
wall-to-wall clusterfuck of tripping hippy wanna-bees, frat bros, and assorted
party tourists making Haight street into a sea of pot smoke and tie-dye.
Dave
let us in and we went into the kitchen. I looked around for something to open a
beer with. We had no bottle openers. It was a rule. You had to be able to open
a beer with whatever was available.
Dave
grabbed a spoon from the sink, and popped the cap off an anchor steam. Klutch
and I followed suit.
"Goddamn
hippies!" dave exclaimed, "We should have a huge fucking BBQ! Fill this whole valley with
the smell of roasting meat!! That would show them! Goddamn vegetarians…"
I
hoisted my beer, "Meat loaf, not war!"
"Fuck
peace and love" Klutch cheered, "Piece of meat!"
And
thus, the Summer of Meat began.
We
formulated a plan.
We
got good and drunk.
We
made tee shirts with psychedelic script that said "Summer of Meat"
We
made buttons that said "USDA Choice", "Meat Loaf, Not war!"
and one that was a peace sign, and under it, "of pork".
We
filled a backpack with what was left of the beer, grabbed the
Croquet mallets, and headed out into the crowed.
We
chanted our Meat slogans, we waved the mallets, we drank beer.
That
was pretty much it for the plan.
Then
there was the camera crew.
There
was a commotion to our left, some sort of reporters...
"These
guys, these guys…" said a voice. Suddenly there was a big TV camera in our
faces.
"Hey!
I am from MTV, and we are here covering the outrageous party that is the summer
of love!"
He
was using a suave singsong hip announcers voice.
"You
guys look like you're having a good time…"
Dave
cut him off
"We're
are here to raise meat awareness"
"More
Meat!" I chanted, "More Meat, kill and eat! More Meat!
Klutch
and Dave joined in chanting.
Our
interviewer just looked confused, and then put on a resigned smile.
"So!...
What drugs are you guys on?
Dave
waved his mallet "Drugs are for Hippies! Pure protien and MSG Man! M….S….G!"
It
became obvious that we were not what the interviewers were looking for, but
they pushed on "So what’s with the Mallets? You guys expecting a problem?"
Dave
shook his mallet at him. "Hippies are the problem, more meat, more peace!
"Piece
of Meat!" I shouted.
Our
interviewer shook his head and motioned to the cameraman, who stopped filming.
Our
interview had ended
Dave
didn't care. "This is the problem!" he said, motioning to the crowd
with his mallet. "These people! All these goddamn people!"
As
they left, and were swallowed up the crowd, Dave shouted after them, "If
it wasn't for vegetarians, there wouldn't be any WAR!
But
they were gone.
I
shrugged. "I guess we are too much for MTV"
Klutch
nodded, "And we're out of Beer"
Dave
held his mallet out like a lance "To the liquor store!"
And
with that, we were gone.
