Yesterday I said good-by
to the first home I ever knew.
It had been, over time, the home of my
family, my grandmother, and most recently, my aunt.
But now it stood empty.
Everything that could be removed was gone, with the
exception of a few lamps which stood ready to provide illumination for who ever
might need it.
It was probably the first time that house had been
empty since the 50’s.
I stood and looked at the
bare walls, and I felt only tired.
Most all the memories had
packed it in as well, tucked into ethereal suitcases and carried off by
assorted ghosts.
I had only lived there a short time, maybe three or
four years as a child, but still, it was the first house I ever knew. I walked
into the room that was mine as a child. I closed my eyes and tried to see it,
but nothing came. To be honest, I don’t have a lot of memories about living in
that house, however, those few I do have are fairly vivid.
The house had one of those
wall furnaces, and when you peered through the louvers you could just make out
the shape of what my very young mind had decided was a suit of armor.
It fascinated me.
One day I was peering in
through the slits.
“I see you in there” I whispered.
The suit of armor emitted a low breathy growl, and
out came a blast of heat.
At some point I had seen a
television show in which the ghost of a Knight was wearing a blackened, dusty
suit of armor. When it opened its visor, its face was made of fire.
I put two and two together
and decided that there must be a ghost-knight in there, held prisoner by the
metal screen.
I don’t remember being afraid really,
but I do remember feeling compelled to periodically check to make sure the
ghost was still trapped in there.
Another memory is
really more of a still image. In this hazy, slightly off kilter photo I am
sitting in the front yard holding half of a broken record album. All about the
lawn there are records, both whole and broken, jutting from the grass like
tombstones, and in the blurry background is a figure (my sister? cousin?
neighbor? I don't know) who is in mid fling, the record having just left their
hand like a Frisbee. It’s a sort of mental Polaroid picture that has no
beginning, and thankfully, no conclusion.
Another memory is a short
loop of playing with my Johnny West cowboy action figure, galloping the horse
back and forth in the doorway to my room.
And then, of course, there is the Tiki.
My uncle
on my dads side was a surfer back then, and had given my dad a three-foot tall
cement Tiki. It crouched under the gnarled pine tree that took up the yard next
to our playhouse, where it stood watch over us for those early years. The Tiki
was magic. Quiet, patient magic, and I knew it. I could hardly play in the yard
without at least once creeping over to look at the Tiki.
But it was gone now
as well. Long gone. Eventually the playhouse had rotted away, the tree was cut
down, and the Tiki disappeared. Only it’s ghost remained, a sleeping egg that
would hatch with a vengeance later.
Much later.
But that is another story.
I opened my eyes and looked
around. Like I said, I just felt tired.
I left “my” room for what would
probably be the last time, and walked into the hall, pausing to peer into the
furnace.
“I see you in there” I
whispered.
There was no response.
I guess he had already left as well.
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